Real Life Affairs: Meet “Heidi”

Real Life Affairs: Heidi’s Story

I was married to my husband for about two years and our son was only a few months old when I found out he was cheating on me. Not just cheating, but cheating on such a regular basis and with so many people, that I was totally astonished by the amount of sheer skill he must have needed to pull it off. Okay, I did have my suspicions before he told me, but, I was very willfully blind to any and all signs.

A Heartbreaking Discovery

When I picked up his phone my mistake and saw a very graphic to say the least text from a woman I had never heard of, I knew I couldn’t pretend any more. I confronted him, and he broke down and told me. I was devastated. I know many people would hear that and just immediately break it off, file for divorce, take them to the cleaners, etc….but, it just isn’t that easy, that simple. This was someone I loved, no matter what. I had a long history, an intense emotional connection and a child with. It wasn’t easy to just let go. Our lives were so tangled up together, that the idea of separation was just too painful and difficult, especially with a new baby. My husband was remorseful. He agreed to get help for what was obviously a sexual addiction. We also got marriage counselling. But, it was a simple act of evening the score that really helped me heal.

A Night Out

I stayed with an old friend for a weekend, just to get away from it all. She was super empathetic. We went a bar, something, I hadn’t done in ages. I got dressed up, I made myself look sexy. We went out, and I met the cutest guy. He was interested in me, to my surprise. We had some drinks together, and flirted like crazy. I felt so sexy and alive around him. Well, I went back to his place. I felt no guilt sleeping with him. My husband had done it countless times, with so many women. Okay, I get that that isn’t the greatest of reasons, but, screw it, I was hurt, I had had to be so strong through it all. I wanted to feel better about myself. This made me feel wanted and sexy again. This made me feel good when all I felt was bad. I don’t regret it.
Married dating isn’t necessarily for me, but this experience of a one night stand was incredible to me. It was better than a thousand self help books. I don’t know what will happen in regards to my marriage, I have no idea what the future holds, but my little “lapse” made me feel confident again when I needed a boost badly.

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